and if i should fall, i would remember i almost had it all

a semester on, i'm glad to say that i still do not regret my decision to leave my sheltered and pampered life in singapore for an overseas experience in australia. i could only cringe at the thought of what would have been if i threaded the road often travelled - accepting my fate as a material engineering student in ntu, consigning myself to mediocre grades and a lifetime of malcontentment. sure material engineering offers great prospects, but beyond the materiality of material engineering, i do not fancy the thought of spending the final moments of my mortal existence wondering how different this entire journey would have been if i had the courage not venture beyond the concept of the singaporean engineered materialism. i did summon that courage somehow, and for that, regardless of how life turns out, or even should this path lead to a lifetime of mediocrity too, at least i would die a happy man knowing that i did try to pursue my passion once upon a time. 'fly high and grow, and if you should fall, remember you almost had it all'.

i attended what was the last, and perhaps the coolest ever tutorial for the semester today. i turned up for the final political science tutorial of the semester only to find liza (my tutor) leaving a note saying that the tute will be held in the tavern - the pub in the uni guild village. it was a great day, first we got back our UN position paper assignment which i managed to score a high distinction, just barely though. and then i find myself with a Tiger in hand, a cigarette in the other and being part of a discussion on the proliferation of weapons of mass destruction all at the same time. tutes dun get any better...though i must say, that paying $6 for a bottle of Tiger kinda rattled me off a little (it's hard to imagine but Tiger is considered somewhat an exotic imported beer down under) oh well, i guess you immersing oneself in some nostalgia from time to time would hurt would it? besides, i'm after all contributing singapore's balance of trade surplus...

back to the whole exam revision shit. i'm having some serious self-doubts now. while at least i've significantly reduced my level of inertia from JC days, i cannot convince myself that i've done enough consistent work to do well. as it stands, with the exception of macroeconomics, my other subjects are en route for a decent grade judging from the non-examination components of my final grade, stuff like projects, assignments etc. which is why i would feel that for me to screw it all up at the final step would really piss myself off big time. it's like i'm losing steam at the final stretch. i'm losing ground in my battle against the procrastination monster. 10 days, it's do or die. and for all the effort i've put in, one way or another, i wanna live to tell the tale. and i will.

nothing gold can stay - end of 49 games unbeaten record

nothing in this world can last forever. cliched as it sounds, that was the conclusion i got from last night's big match. assisted by dodgy refereeing decisions, and an unbelievably negative display of player hackling, manchester utd somehow managed to end arsenal's 49 game unbeaten run.
in the discipline of statistics, no causal relationship can be said to be 100% accurate. while given cetris paribus, the hardwork and offensive play of arsenal should render the gunners victors in this game at perhaps a 5% significance level leaving us to reject a null hypothesis that the gunners did not put enough effort to win the game. this superficial evaluation negates other less observable random variables like perhaps the diving antics of wayne rooney or the amazing probability mass function of the distribution of the history of the number of goals referee mike riley awarded to manure (man utd) vs the number of matches he officiated at n=7 (riley the bastard awarded 7 penalties in as many matches in the last 7 matches he officiated involving man utd). therefore, at n<30>central limit theorem), using t-distribution, we would accept a null hypothesis that a certain element of biasness is involved. while a simple linear relationship may not exist between riley's decisions and his partisanship towards manure, further analysis on the variance between his refereeing decisons and other matches not involving manchester utd would prove that a complex relationship probably exists. the null hypothesis in this case would be that the mu (population mean) of the number of penalties awarded by riley is constant regardless of which team he officiates, will very likely at a 5% significance level be rejected. further information like perhaps the amount of bribery would suffice in this analysis of causal relationship though we will probably stick to alpha = 0.05 significance level.

wait, why the hell am i even doing this??? it's like 13 days to exams, and statistics has overwhelmed my sentient being. anway, at a standard 5% significance level, while there is evidence to show that a direct relationship exists between hard work and desired results, there are other factors beyond our control. but what's within our control, we maximise, hence hardwork=good grades. unless of course a complex and non-linear relationship exists between you and the prof under which the alternative hypothesis will be accepted....really alternative in more ways than one...
blogging seems to be my last bastion of solace and as i would reluctantly agree, procrastination. hell i even quitted playing counterstrike. anyway, to all who will be taking exams soon, here's a stash of literary inspiration for u. it's from the theme song of an old tcs serial called chu lu, sang by powerstation which foreign students like me can empathise with. in my the void between revision (what i would tactfully call 'allowance for procrastination), i tried an english translation of the song and it seems awfully anachronistic. but anyway, if u can't understand chinese, then u probably won't realise how wrong this is.

distinctions all the way!!! foreign students never fail, they just slack away (spoof on Gen. Mac Arthur)

我吃得起苦

走出去就有路, 尋見了就有福
擁有的一切都進了包袱
思念是帶不走的
天空疑雲密佈, 心中翻騰起伏
隨江飄搖 前途仍模糊
此地會是我, 衣錦還鄉處
漂洋過海我吃得起苦
相信天無絕人之路
現實有咒詛, 夢裡有祝福
有緣同舟風雨共度
頂著烈日當空 也定要彌補
不能再讓懦弱困住
日子多坎坷, 命運有變數只盼久旱逢甘露

(which roughly translates into)

Roads will be found by those who seek it
Happiness will be bestowed upon those who pursue it
All that I have, is contained in this bundle
Everything, except my longing for home.

The overcast skies reflect my tumultuous emotions
Drifting aimlessly with the choppy tides
The waves, deride my ambiguous future
To which I swore, that the pier where I departed
Shall be the site worthy of my glorious return

Nothing is unsurmountable for me who travelled the seven seas
With nothing more than a belief that fortune favours the brave
I can endure all hardship
Reality accursed, yet in our dreams we seek solace
Affinity made us meet, and for that we will brave the storm together

With the scorching sun bearing testament, we take the oath pledging to make amends
Pledging never again to be constrained by mediocrity
Regardless of how tedious our journey may be, fate will turn for the better
For even rain will pour upon the most arid land someday.


'三分天註定 七分靠打拼. 愛拼才會贏' --- contemporary hokkien literature

mr russia was outmanoeuvred

once again, the pseudo superhero fails to save the world. captain US of glorious A did. even after 2 nights of sleep deprivation, my draft resolution failed to gander the support of the 'security council'. apparantly my fanciful utopian suggestions on debt relief for iraq, and model for the financing of reconstruction efforts failed to impress the 'member states' as compared to the 'american' proposal or what was essentially a the renaming of the exisiting UNAMI to their suggested 'UN humanitarian alliance for the development of iraq' UNHADI which theoratically reflects greater multi-lateral involvement and would somehow miraculously attract more member states to contribute resources to iraq. while i genuinely believe that my draft resolution offered more comprehensive suggestions to the reconstruction of iraq and the reformation of the role of the MNF, i have to agree that by all accounts, it sounds less altruistic and perhaps even profit-motivated (what am i to do? i'm supposed to be russia, and they just want the oil contracts they signed with saddam to be honoured). well i did have iraq seconding my resolution, and it was a calculated move in order for me advance my draft resolution under the pretext that the resolution reflects the 'will of the iraqi people', but not even that was enough to convince the folks down at the SC. oh well, at least the whole tedious shebang is now over. the simulation exercise was really fun despite its heavy mark weightage to my final grade. i would much rather go through the entire process of sticking in front of the computer and cursing and swearing at random countries than to stick in front of my computer cursing and swearing at my inability to find references for an essay. kudos to the profs, this was one ass-kicking assignment, and perhaps the closest any one of us would ever get to becoming a real diplomat in the UN.


the resolution went 9-12 in favour of the US resolution. iran rejected it, iraq and russia abstained. in celebration of a consensus reached and a resolution passed, the permanent representative from russia proposed a motion for the taking of a group photo, which this time was unanimously adopted although mr israel seemed to be missing from the picture.




the uni internet interface which our simulated UN exercise was conducted on. countries would engage in 'official diplomatic correspondance' through this interface which then monitored and graded by our tutors. considering that this was in fact an assignment in which one of the criteria for grading would certainly be use of appropriate diplomatic language, you'll be surprised to see how many representatives actually refer to their UN contemporaries as 'mates' in their replies or believe that 'Cheers!' is an appropriate term to end an official letter.

carthasis of a lonely pubber in st george's terrace

Bar one

Delusions of grandeur & worldly concerns
Relish the pleasure in this game of attrition.
Pushing the threshold of the invisible moat
Threading the boundaries of the xenophobe – that of the one within
Realisation three months late, a voice refusing to integrate

Bourbon Aroma & Cigarette Stench
Cameos in an imagined parody
Swinging to the beat of this tuneless rhapsody
Reality begets what the heart rejects
A future beacons, but a dream unswayed
Realism overwrote what a surreal mind objects

Beholden aspirations & ostensible regrets – from another life
A self ordained alternation between eventualities
Can it sustain or would we forget?

15th October 2004
Bar One
Music: eclectic, drum and bass
Modus operandi: Bourbon coke
Time: 2143
Tab no: 134



A Drunkard’s Limerick

On a binge of champagne, I came in a sham pain supernova
To a realm of broken minds & drunkards’ limerick
Of pseudo intellectual Munchausen Syndrome it reeks
If there was an auction of dreams how would it sell?
Minnows or millions?
Only time could tell

(WUDC! I will conquer you!)

15th October 2004
Bar One
Modus Operandi: Apple One ( champagne + green apple liquer & sugar cube)
Time: 2219

boredom is driving me to do really lame stuff

newton's three laws of graduation

21 days to finals, i shall excell. if not for me, for the promise i made to my gu ma. it's been eight months now, but somehow i still feel that she's around. to honour her wishes, that's the least i could do. procratination rehab starts today.

you're either with us, or against us

diplomacy...ah..such a delicate art. ever since i missed the last political science tute where i was supposed to present my draft resolution, things haven't been going well for my secret diplomacy with the other 'members' of the security council aka my tute mates. first my suggestion to hold an informal preliminary vote on each of the 3 draft resolutions was rejected, then requests for feedback on my draft resolutions are ignored. gotta get my act together, next week is the last tutorial for the simulation exercise, and with 35% of the final grade at stake...i MUST prevail. things going through my mind now: how to threaten Iran and China from withdrawing their support to another draft resolution diametrically opposed to mine.

spent a good half of last night doing the secret diplomacy replies in scott and joel's room until we decided that perhaps diplomacy could be better facilitated with alcohol. that of course signalled the end of the academic part of the night. actually if we really did persist with both at the same time, it might actually come to great effect. after all, the chinese poet of the tang dynasty li bai wrote an excellent diplomatic reply to the turfan kingdom's diplomatic threat in their own language thus averting war. and this was achieved while he was pissed drunk, while the imperial concubine yang gui fei poured wine for him. ah hah! perhaps that was the key, we should had gotten a hot babe to do up the drinks for us. considering the cock we talk about when we're drunk, apart from the ridiculous suggestion of a 'Final Solution' to the address the posed by potential ethnic strifes in post-elections iraq, we might well have proposed a draft resolution suggesting the utopian tele-tubby land as a model for reconstruction of iraqi society. the permanent government shall be presided by the 4 teletubbies with each representing an ethnic community eg. lala for shiite muslims, po for the kurds, dipsy for the sunnis and perhaps tinky winky for the gay community...ok that was perhaps a bit too much cock from me in my currently sober state.

roy, a fellow singaporean from college further entrenched his self-description as a 'socially deficient' bloke through his choice of name to be printed on the back of his recently procured college sweater. you see, trinity college sells its own college sweaters where u can choose to print your own name or nickname at the back of it, not unlike a soccer jersey. roy chose to print the word 'root' on his own sweater. apparantly as he claims, was to reflect his status as a comp science student as it was a reference to the derivatives/mathematical kind of 'root'. it wasn't until we pointed out to him that in australian lingo, 'root' refers to a verb synonymous the other terms like 'shag' or 'bang' and not an innocuous noun, that he realises that how that sweater could in fact make himself a walking joke, or perhaps be perceived as a sex-god depending on how u look at it. in either case, i haven't seen roy wear that sweater again. cultural 'intercourse' (pun intended) occurs when u least expect it doesn't it?

mr russia feels like a dumbass after missing a security council meeting cos he overslept

as part of my political science 101 syllabus, we're required to go through a simulation exercise where each of us will be assigned a role as a member state of the UN security council where we will engage in pseudo-diplomacy proposing resolutions addressing issues in iraq and cajoling ppl to support to etc. i was assigned to be the russian federation. having spent one whole motherfucking night juggling between mugging for a stats test and preparing of the simulation exercise today, i somehow managed to complete my draft resolution and posted it to the pol sci net interface which we use for our 'diplomatic encounters' at around 0430 this morning. all seemed well, i knew what i was going to say today, to explain my draft resolution, to criticise the other draft resolution which was virtually a rip-off from previous UNSC resolutions on iraq...UNTIL i decided to take a pre-lunch nap, only to wake up realising that i overslept and missed the tute aka security council meeting. i dun think i have felt so incredibly stupid and pissed off at myself in a long long time, and for that, my poor door took the brunt of my carthatic release in the form of a series of kicks, and my neighbours suffer the decibels of anguished swearing as the remainder of the carthasis. to put things in perspective, this was one of the 2 remaining tutes for the simulation exercise and the entire exercise makes up 35% of my final grade. more than anything else, it's that sorta stinking feeling of running a whole marathon and only to be pass out at the very last stretch that pisses me off. it's like 3 weeks to the finals and if anything this better teach me to stop fucking around, cos i've already been royally ass-fucked by myself..

end the lies rally

attended a political rally by the socialist alliance held outside the perth cultural centre on sunday. it was part of the run up to the australian general elections due to be held on this coming saturday. the rally was entitled : end the lies


it reads: political big brother (an australian pseudo-survivor reality tv show where a participant is 'evicted' everyweek): vote them out


'jonny' howard

the socialist alliance is a political alliance emcompassing elements of the left-wing spectrum of the australian society. embellished with rhetoric projecting themselves as the champions of the poor, and voice piece of the subjugated, the socialist alliance appear to be the australian equivalent of ralph nader's green party. the 'real' alternative in a similarly bi-polar domestic political scene dominated by the liberal party and the labour party, although they seem to single out howard for harsher judgement than labour's latnam. if anything, the socialist alliance seemed more like an activist outfit than a truly functional politcal party with concrete ambitions to be elected. to be fair, i've never read their manifesto, but if anything, their focus on the rally had hardly anything on concrete policies for the average australian (ie economic, welfare, education etc) but it seemed to revolve primarily around the need to end australia's participation in iraq's occupation, and the championing of the rights and status of refugees and asylum seekers in australia. i was sure about what the whole hoo-hah about refugees are, and upon chatting up one of the speakers in the rally who was not surprisingly not a politician but a refugee rights activist, i was told that under the refugees act, all asylum seekers in australia are detained indefinitely in squalid jail-like conditions despite howard's exaggerated claim that it was 'of a higher standard than the average australian' he also stressed on the fact australia was the only first world western democracy not to have a of policy for harbouring asylum seekers. well that's not unfamiliar to us singaporeans since 'refugees' dun even exist in our government's lexicon...only 'illegal immigrants'.



a supporter of the socialist alliance. the same guy who started chanting 'howard is a wanker' over and over again during the march




a sizable, not not as large a crowd as i would have expected having seen opposition rallies back in singapore


the casualties of war


australia's role in iraq is a big part of the socialist ticket. it appeals to the public to boot the howard government for their participation in the world just like what spain did to their government (although it was probably more than the war that resulted in spain's election outcome)

the march

after the speeches and stuff, there comes the customary march. we marched around northbridge and back to perth cultural centre. it was kinda short though, it might have been a better idea to march through the city so as to get people to hope on the bandwagon along the way.




the marching crowd carried a very long banner on it, sort of a petition for the removal of troops from iraq and the granting of asylum status to refugees


there's fred fuentes, the guy with the ponytail. he's the leader of the left-alternative party in uwa as well as the leader of resistance organisation - a left wing student organisation. contrary to most misconceptions regarding left-wing supporters, fred's a pretty friendly and approachable guy. it's not hard to spot many other familiar faces from uwa among the crowd.



i'm not too sure where're they from except that they were ostensibly religious in nature judging from the banners they carry. |they also appear to be some peace-loving, hippy anti-war organisation. in contrast to the rest of the teeming masses who were chanting slogans, this group opted to use their voices to sing out their anti-war sentiments and they really can sing very well. they were singing some song about 'turning swords to ploughshares' and 'nations shall know war no more', upon googling it i realised that those are passages from the bible. if you know the name of the song, pls leave it in the comments box, i really need to know it.



back to the cultural centre


poor lil' jonny lost both his boots during the march



to increase the appeal, the organisers arranged for a performance by some indie rock band to perform at the intermission after the march. i wasn't sure if they were playing original words all was it a spontaneous cover, but they were singing something about kicking howard and 'you can do it if u try'. now who says politics is a boring affair.

politics certainly isn't a boring affair, not with what's mentioned above, and many other hippy-dressed youths around. there were also people smoking weed in the crowd, young parents carrying their kids along, gay and lesbian couples who spoke against the liberal's stand on gay marriages. it's almost a laid-back sunday outing for many of them. maybe dr chee, mr chiam or mr low should take a page off australian politics and get local bands to play in their rallies...i'm dying to see the boredphucks perform back in singapore again.

We may be a small nation, but at least we are an independent nation

pro-independence taiwanese burning the Singapore flag

two new term has been added to singapore's dubious collection of euphemisms. from the 'little red dot' to 'the israel of south-east asia', comes the literary imageries ala hokkien from the pro-independence taiwanese foreign minister Mark Chen. tada! Singapore: 'the country the size of a pi sai' (literally translated as noseshit or booger) and the honourable 'bearer of the weight of China's testicles' (lan pa in his exact words). how i wished i too could use such words to enhance the diplomatic tone in my political science position paper.

it all started with George Yeo's innocuous speech to the UN general assembly on the 24th of Sept in which he expressed concerns regarding the 'deterioting relationship across the taiwanese straits' and the 'push towards independence by certain groups in taiwan'. to which poet chen responded in his now classic retort '新加坡如鼻屎大小' and "新加坡捧懒趴”(懒趴 ostensibly being the written form of Lan Pa). taiwanese pro-independence activists followed up by burning the singapore flag

a metaphoric reference to the human anatomy to describe a country, and much less the burning of a state flag would constitute nothing less than a full diplomatic outrage in any other country, and perhaps even a declaration of holy war in more theological regimes. but somehow, the whole shebang seemed actively downplayed by the Singapore press. i was hard-pressed to find any english reports on this poetic recital in the singapore press with the exception of that from the lianhezaobao website. a call to shawn revealed that nothing much was reported in the english media. while it is nothing new that the singapore press is partisan in reporting local politics, it's quite unfathomable why the straits times chose to brush aside this slap in the face. after all, it isn't hard to spell L-a-n P-a or P-i S-a-i in english is it? Even in the MFA website, Singapore's response to that was simply that of a curt "Taiwan is an old friend. We are saddened by such intemperate actions."

Ok, so it was arguably an informal or perhaps personal comment on the part of poet chen. most taiwanese do not endorse his literary embellishment in the description of the Republic of Singapore. in his reponse, poet chen refused to apologise on the basis that it was purely his personal point of view and not an official diplomatic statement. instead, he accused those who chide him of being 'more shameless'

for a person of his stature, the use of such language was quite frankly to me, more comical than offensive. but beyond the laughs, the outrage and the superficiality of it all, i half-heartedly empathise with poet chen's frustration. apparantly as he claims (click on link in the pink box for video),

'i was blacklisted, exiled from taiwan for 30 odd years for my pro-independence activism. I wasn't even allowed to return to attend the funerals of his parents. so now that i'm a cabinet minister, how can i possibly sell-out my ideals?'

Without the support from his contemporaries, poet chen turned to voice his frustrations to his rural tainan (rural hokkien speaking taiwan) pro-independence supporters in the sort of language they understand. it was a bid for carthatic relief, not unlike blogging. so perhaps all diplomats should be offered a free blogspot account to avoid such debacles from happening in the future...but then again no blogs are ever free from public scrutiny.

Every nation has a legitimate claim to be free from coercion and independence (which must entail international recognition of its government). betrayed and booted by the UN in 1971, sacrificed by its former allies in favor of realpolitik, the Nationalist Government of Republic of China is indeed in a sympathetic situation. to all other singaporeans, before you make a harsh judgement on taiwan, how would we feel IF Singapore was to be booted out of the UN, deemed as an unlegitimate renegade island regime by the whole whole, with Malaysia staking its claim on our island state, and thousands of missiles pointing at us all the time? Not many countries like can have the dubious honour of pissing off two countries within the span of barely two months. But to solely pander to china without considering the sentiments of our other friends should not be the way to go. Yes, china is a friend, she's important to us, and pissing her off can possibly be economically distressful.

But ala Hugh Grant in Love Actually, a true friend would not force us to do what's against our will. We may be small, but we are a great country, a proud nation. The land of the Tiger Beer, of the Singapore Sling, of great food, of high-quality public housing, of the Singapore Girl, of much-envied ethnic harmony and so much more. We will stand firm in the face of coercion to do what's right, in our national interest, undictated by any other forces other than the will of the sons and daughters of Singapore.

MAJULAH SINGAPURA!