for honour and glory, and the dearth of fresh undies....
... i shall go commando. or so i thought.
i swear, nothing pisses a person off more than putting up all your laundry while wearing the same boxer shorts for the second consecutive day only to see a drizzle pouring on it minutes after you step into the house. u curse your luck, and then ur stupidity in not having the foresight to either do your laundry before you run out of fresh underwear or at the very least, check the weather report before putting out the clothes. when one stares at the possibility of wearing the same wretched underwear for the third day straight, going commando is certainly a very tempting option. i must say, ever since the time when i started wearing underwear as a kid, i have never gone a day without my trusted balls-carrier whenever i'm outta home. there are two main reasons why i would NEVER go commando even if it means not changing underwear for the rest of my life.
1. apart from serving as a shield for one's family jewels against the trecherous force of gravity, more importantly, an underwear serves as the last line of defence to any potential embarrassment. either when one's fly is open. or worse, during random inexplicable moments of arousal. as u can probably see from my moniker, unfortunate ppl like me tend to *ahem* hormat senja ta for even the most innocuous reasons like perhaps weather being too cold, fabric too itchy etc etc simply because we never had the benefit of actual combat training.
2. i had a rather traumatic experience with my pre-adolescent experiment with going commando which i WILL NEVER wanna go through again. i was probably 3 or 4 years old then and i was out shopping with my aunt in the neighbourhood shops opposite my house. my aunt was busy doing the grocery shopping while i indulged myself in looking at the fishes in the aquarium shop next door. for some reason, staring at the acquarium made me wanna pee. so thinking that i'm a 'big boy now', i din wanna bother my aunt about such issues what wouldn't bother big boys (i assure you that is by no means a pun nor an equivocation of the description of a certain part of my anatomy...sadly.), i proudly went towards the drain, unzipped my pants and did what a big boy's gotta do. after finishing the deed, confidence got the better of me and in a swashbuckling motion i zipped up my pants. suave as i thought i was, i soon realised that i forgot the most important part of the peeing drill, that of erm...erm.. rescinding the turtle back into its shell so as to speak. it was a very painful lesson. the turtle's skin got stuck with the zipper and i was actually bleeding. i had to call my aunt for help and not surprisingly, that attracted alot of kaypoh spectators too. the worst part of it all: the only way to unjam the zipper was to first zip it down before it could be zipped up again. so it happened, my agony just got doubled. for that reason, i figured that if i had worn an underwear, it would at least have reminded me of the crucial step which i missed in my arms checking drill. i cannot understate how grateful i am to my parents for NOT opting to circumcise me when i was an infant...
fortunately, the drizzle remained just a drizzle today and by evening, i happily welcomed long awaited reinforcement of fresh undies. it was probably also for these reasons why even our elite commandos do not actually go commando. and even if they did, the SAF slacks are all button-flyed for a very very good reason...
i swear, nothing pisses a person off more than putting up all your laundry while wearing the same boxer shorts for the second consecutive day only to see a drizzle pouring on it minutes after you step into the house. u curse your luck, and then ur stupidity in not having the foresight to either do your laundry before you run out of fresh underwear or at the very least, check the weather report before putting out the clothes. when one stares at the possibility of wearing the same wretched underwear for the third day straight, going commando is certainly a very tempting option. i must say, ever since the time when i started wearing underwear as a kid, i have never gone a day without my trusted balls-carrier whenever i'm outta home. there are two main reasons why i would NEVER go commando even if it means not changing underwear for the rest of my life.
1. apart from serving as a shield for one's family jewels against the trecherous force of gravity, more importantly, an underwear serves as the last line of defence to any potential embarrassment. either when one's fly is open. or worse, during random inexplicable moments of arousal. as u can probably see from my moniker, unfortunate ppl like me tend to *ahem* hormat senja ta for even the most innocuous reasons like perhaps weather being too cold, fabric too itchy etc etc simply because we never had the benefit of actual combat training.
2. i had a rather traumatic experience with my pre-adolescent experiment with going commando which i WILL NEVER wanna go through again. i was probably 3 or 4 years old then and i was out shopping with my aunt in the neighbourhood shops opposite my house. my aunt was busy doing the grocery shopping while i indulged myself in looking at the fishes in the aquarium shop next door. for some reason, staring at the acquarium made me wanna pee. so thinking that i'm a 'big boy now', i din wanna bother my aunt about such issues what wouldn't bother big boys (i assure you that is by no means a pun nor an equivocation of the description of a certain part of my anatomy...sadly.), i proudly went towards the drain, unzipped my pants and did what a big boy's gotta do. after finishing the deed, confidence got the better of me and in a swashbuckling motion i zipped up my pants. suave as i thought i was, i soon realised that i forgot the most important part of the peeing drill, that of erm...erm.. rescinding the turtle back into its shell so as to speak. it was a very painful lesson. the turtle's skin got stuck with the zipper and i was actually bleeding. i had to call my aunt for help and not surprisingly, that attracted alot of kaypoh spectators too. the worst part of it all: the only way to unjam the zipper was to first zip it down before it could be zipped up again. so it happened, my agony just got doubled. for that reason, i figured that if i had worn an underwear, it would at least have reminded me of the crucial step which i missed in my arms checking drill. i cannot understate how grateful i am to my parents for NOT opting to circumcise me when i was an infant...
fortunately, the drizzle remained just a drizzle today and by evening, i happily welcomed long awaited reinforcement of fresh undies. it was probably also for these reasons why even our elite commandos do not actually go commando. and even if they did, the SAF slacks are all button-flyed for a very very good reason...
4 Comments:
In response to experience # 2:
OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! God.
This is also why i have a dryer. I love dryers, they are the sliced bread i say!
i would have wanted a dryer too. but it's expensive so me and my housemates, against our better judgement as well as the wet climate during the winter months, just have to be resigned to having the occassional second round washing, courtesy of mother nature.
I was cringin most parts of ur painful entry (I'm just empathatic)..
Bein the dirty old woman that I am, I actually like the idea of guys goin commando.. Or boxers..
haha! i can understand it if guys like girls go commando. but i just can't see exposing one's erm..standard issue to gun barrel damage can possibly be sexy...
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