an effluent's lament (journey through singapore's academic filtration system)
just read through blinkymummy's post on the bureaucracy's lack of creativity and donaq's post on his annecdote about how the singaporean education system actively detracts students from creative thinking. both posts struck a chord in me. my take on the reason why the singaporean bureaucracy has such an overly placed (and arguably 'misplaced' in the light of bureaucratic debacles like the Suzhou Industrial Park) confidence on purely academic indicators is that it lies in the entrenched societal mindsets that preaches the trumping of academic over other holistic developements. it's 3 in the morning and i'm just too lazy to type out what i really feel about the whole issue so i'm just gonna reproduce the comment i posted on BM's blog:
' as perhaps one of those who in your words can be described as a 'defect' of the system i can empathise with what u're saying. beyond the systemic factors which you described that discriminates against the less-academically inclined, i believe however that it is our entrenched societal mindset that really contribute to our singaporean brand of organisational dogmatism. and the root of such entrenched dogmatism i believe, lies in the family.
right from the time when i was a kid, i was indoctrinated into thinking that the only credible measure of one's success is neccessarily one's academic achievements. when i was in pri 6, i did well enough to qualify for a SAP sch and my parents were proud of me and i was the shining jewel in their possession. at sec 4, i screwed up for my Os and thus enrolled into one of the Crappiest JCs whose only claim to fame was perhaps its (allegedly) highest abortion rates among all JCs. and all a sudden was the bane in my parents' eyes, the perennial source of embarrassment which they sought to hid at every family gathering. it sucks when you feel betrayed by of all people, your own parents. and for years after that, i could not forgive myself for my mediocrity. that was afterall, the the only yardstick i knew to measure my self-worth.
it was only after going through more in life and especially during army having served in a hokkien peng unit, that i could reconcile myself with the fact that academic performance is arguably the worst yardstick to measure anyone's intrinsic worth. yet through it all, even till today, i still hold no grudges against the very system where i emerged as the effluent through singapore's filtration of meritocracy. the only regret i had was simply being unable to trump the system and play the game to my best advantage.
to be discarded, and yet at the same time not hate the system. i guess that speaks alot about the degree of dogmatic entrenchment which i believe many others of my age were subjected to. '
the perception of betrayal from my parents as illustrated in this post as well as eventual long chain-causality of events after the O level fiasco continued to haunt me in the subsequent years - and still sporadically even now.
fun, friendships and guiltless procrastination aside, the JC years was emotionally, the unhappiest phase of my life (and i'll be glad to keep it this way). it was a time of coming to terms with my own mediocrity as well as the pain in self-loathing, self-pity and eventually convincing ourselves (several classmates felt the same way too, and it didn't help that we collectively indulged in such ludicrously negative mindset then) that we were the scum of the college system, whose only purpose of existence was to provide statistical fodder to prop up the students from better colleges up the bell curve. it's ridiculous in retrospect, but at that point of time, there simply wasn't any culture within my group of friends to just take the rational step to study hard and put past academic disappointments aside and shape up for the A levels. to us then, the stigma attached to being a member of a wretched college was irreversible and there simply wasn't any incentive to do anything cos' we're so convinced of the fact that being associated with such a crap college = lifetime of mediocrity. it was no surprise why the downward facing dove, pigeon or whatever bird in our college crest was often intepreted by the students as 'a fall from grace'
to explain myself, and to be fair to the alumni from the same college, that was purely what we (subjective notion) felt at age 17-18. for those students who were keen and motivated to learn, the teachers were in all honesty, extremely helpful. if not for the maths teacher Mr 'Sexy' Foo who most willing responded to my desperate attempts at damage limitation by giving me post-prelim consults and for never not giving up on me even after all the times where i skipped his tutorials and verbally embarrassed him in class by being really disrespectful, i would almost definitely have flunked maths c. and so it was a self-fulfilling prophesy. we all screwed up our A levels though it was in fact a pleasant surprise relative to my low expectations. it was indeed by all counts, a miracle that i actually qualified for a place in a university.
national service marked the real turning point in this nadir of my life. for it really broadened by perspective towards life, and provided a much need respite between the persistence of memories and a new start in university. and it is for this reason, that i'm really grateful that i had the chance to serve as a footsoldier in 35 SCE. it was there where i realised that academic indicators are not the end all. at 35, i met many hokkien pengs who are so infinitely more streetwise than me or any other A level guys in my platoon. when shit hits the fan, it was always the hokkien pengs who gets the problem solved and never the A level guys. our whole platoon kenna plus 2 minus 2? fret not, tan joo heng would be there to put up a most eloquent argument in flawless hokkien to cham siong with the platoon sergeant that would probably put even hokkien orators like lim chin siong or tan liang hong to shame. stores got lost during outfield training and whole platoon kenna sign 1206? nothing to fear, cos' gaya and murali would be there to perform their contortionist act in squeezing between the gates of the condemned store to 'borrow' some double bollards (yes that's the real name of an Engineer store) just to save the pockets of us, their poor platoon mates from paying 1206. nevermind the fact that they each have to sign 5 extras when the PS found out about it.
gary who prior to enlistment worked as an ah-long once tried to explain to me the compound interest as well as the re-financing of loans pricing model (or gua siao) which ah-longs use. while i could sorta comprehend the former in a half fuck maner (cos' if ah long take deduct the first interest payment from the principle at date of loan, would it then be an annuity due or normal annuity with deducted principle or what?), even till today, after 6 weeks of attending Introduction to Finance, i still have no idea how the fuck gua siao actually works. if gary was brought up in the right circumstances during his formative years and had not dropped out at sec 2 to chup 18 siao, he would certainly make a brilliant accountant or banker someday. in short, we the A level ppl in the platoon are always the clueless followers. it was there at 35 where i learnt the value of integrity, of friendships, and street-wiseness. and it was also there where i made frens like bingquan, murali, teo, and jessel, ppl whom i can safely say will be my lifelong brothers.
there just seems to be a compulsive need for singaporeans to just rank and evaluate everyone and everything from schools, to hawker stalls and public toilets by its form and not its substance. and even if that was really neccessary, there're just so many facets and dimensions to human behaviour, so why do we have to be just so pre-occupied in assessing one's self-worth by academic yardsticks?
' as perhaps one of those who in your words can be described as a 'defect' of the system i can empathise with what u're saying. beyond the systemic factors which you described that discriminates against the less-academically inclined, i believe however that it is our entrenched societal mindset that really contribute to our singaporean brand of organisational dogmatism. and the root of such entrenched dogmatism i believe, lies in the family.
right from the time when i was a kid, i was indoctrinated into thinking that the only credible measure of one's success is neccessarily one's academic achievements. when i was in pri 6, i did well enough to qualify for a SAP sch and my parents were proud of me and i was the shining jewel in their possession. at sec 4, i screwed up for my Os and thus enrolled into one of the Crappiest JCs whose only claim to fame was perhaps its (allegedly) highest abortion rates among all JCs. and all a sudden was the bane in my parents' eyes, the perennial source of embarrassment which they sought to hid at every family gathering. it sucks when you feel betrayed by of all people, your own parents. and for years after that, i could not forgive myself for my mediocrity. that was afterall, the the only yardstick i knew to measure my self-worth.
it was only after going through more in life and especially during army having served in a hokkien peng unit, that i could reconcile myself with the fact that academic performance is arguably the worst yardstick to measure anyone's intrinsic worth. yet through it all, even till today, i still hold no grudges against the very system where i emerged as the effluent through singapore's filtration of meritocracy. the only regret i had was simply being unable to trump the system and play the game to my best advantage.
to be discarded, and yet at the same time not hate the system. i guess that speaks alot about the degree of dogmatic entrenchment which i believe many others of my age were subjected to. '
the perception of betrayal from my parents as illustrated in this post as well as eventual long chain-causality of events after the O level fiasco continued to haunt me in the subsequent years - and still sporadically even now.
fun, friendships and guiltless procrastination aside, the JC years was emotionally, the unhappiest phase of my life (and i'll be glad to keep it this way). it was a time of coming to terms with my own mediocrity as well as the pain in self-loathing, self-pity and eventually convincing ourselves (several classmates felt the same way too, and it didn't help that we collectively indulged in such ludicrously negative mindset then) that we were the scum of the college system, whose only purpose of existence was to provide statistical fodder to prop up the students from better colleges up the bell curve. it's ridiculous in retrospect, but at that point of time, there simply wasn't any culture within my group of friends to just take the rational step to study hard and put past academic disappointments aside and shape up for the A levels. to us then, the stigma attached to being a member of a wretched college was irreversible and there simply wasn't any incentive to do anything cos' we're so convinced of the fact that being associated with such a crap college = lifetime of mediocrity. it was no surprise why the downward facing dove, pigeon or whatever bird in our college crest was often intepreted by the students as 'a fall from grace'
to explain myself, and to be fair to the alumni from the same college, that was purely what we (subjective notion) felt at age 17-18. for those students who were keen and motivated to learn, the teachers were in all honesty, extremely helpful. if not for the maths teacher Mr 'Sexy' Foo who most willing responded to my desperate attempts at damage limitation by giving me post-prelim consults and for never not giving up on me even after all the times where i skipped his tutorials and verbally embarrassed him in class by being really disrespectful, i would almost definitely have flunked maths c. and so it was a self-fulfilling prophesy. we all screwed up our A levels though it was in fact a pleasant surprise relative to my low expectations. it was indeed by all counts, a miracle that i actually qualified for a place in a university.
national service marked the real turning point in this nadir of my life. for it really broadened by perspective towards life, and provided a much need respite between the persistence of memories and a new start in university. and it is for this reason, that i'm really grateful that i had the chance to serve as a footsoldier in 35 SCE. it was there where i realised that academic indicators are not the end all. at 35, i met many hokkien pengs who are so infinitely more streetwise than me or any other A level guys in my platoon. when shit hits the fan, it was always the hokkien pengs who gets the problem solved and never the A level guys. our whole platoon kenna plus 2 minus 2? fret not, tan joo heng would be there to put up a most eloquent argument in flawless hokkien to cham siong with the platoon sergeant that would probably put even hokkien orators like lim chin siong or tan liang hong to shame. stores got lost during outfield training and whole platoon kenna sign 1206? nothing to fear, cos' gaya and murali would be there to perform their contortionist act in squeezing between the gates of the condemned store to 'borrow' some double bollards (yes that's the real name of an Engineer store) just to save the pockets of us, their poor platoon mates from paying 1206. nevermind the fact that they each have to sign 5 extras when the PS found out about it.
gary who prior to enlistment worked as an ah-long once tried to explain to me the compound interest as well as the re-financing of loans pricing model (or gua siao) which ah-longs use. while i could sorta comprehend the former in a half fuck maner (cos' if ah long take deduct the first interest payment from the principle at date of loan, would it then be an annuity due or normal annuity with deducted principle or what?), even till today, after 6 weeks of attending Introduction to Finance, i still have no idea how the fuck gua siao actually works. if gary was brought up in the right circumstances during his formative years and had not dropped out at sec 2 to chup 18 siao, he would certainly make a brilliant accountant or banker someday. in short, we the A level ppl in the platoon are always the clueless followers. it was there at 35 where i learnt the value of integrity, of friendships, and street-wiseness. and it was also there where i made frens like bingquan, murali, teo, and jessel, ppl whom i can safely say will be my lifelong brothers.
there just seems to be a compulsive need for singaporeans to just rank and evaluate everyone and everything from schools, to hawker stalls and public toilets by its form and not its substance. and even if that was really neccessary, there're just so many facets and dimensions to human behaviour, so why do we have to be just so pre-occupied in assessing one's self-worth by academic yardsticks?
3 Comments:
To your last question, because (dare i say it) there's really nothing else to rank against? The worth of an individual is made up of how much potential
a) fame
b) wealth
c) accolades
he/she brings the motherland. That's all there is to it.
heya!! how've u been, C? so when are u returning from ur hiatus from blogging?
yup exactly, it's almost like we're nothing more than the quinessential 'factors-of-production' in a the motherland socio-economy. one where homogenity is assumed, and diversity simplified. keynes would have been very proud of our singaporean technocrats.
Damn dude! You have very good points but why all the fluff? Master of overly convoluted words and prose. Novice of storytelling and communication. Ever see Shrek? Prince Charming - compensation?
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