the devil's incaranate
i read an entry from donaq's blog where he posted an entry describing an anecdote about how teachers are not neccessarily the most inspiring people we meet in our lives. i have a little anecdote myself. it happened when i was in sec 1.
it all started when i brought this joke book into class. it was sorta of like a compilation of jokes found in the ancient cyberspace then. being the cyberspace joke book that it is, the contents wasn't exactly in line with the singaporean perception of humor then , especially with its many jokes involving sex and religion which certainly didn't go down well with the puritans, as i would soon find out to my own detriment. here's an example of one of the jokes found inside the book:
" Four nuns died in a car accident and they soon arrived to heaven in front of the Pearly gates. St Peter who was in charged there, got the 4 nuns to line up in a straight line and went through the usual pre-heaven entry procedure interrogating them one by one. St Peter then asked the first nun 'Have you ever had sex before?' And the first nun replied 'No i haven't, but i've seen one before though'. St Peter then said, 'good, wash your eyes in this basin of holy water and then proceed to enjoy eternal life in the kingdom of the Lord.' The first nun did as she was told and gleefully went through the Pearly gates. St Peter then asked the second nun ''Have you ever had sex before?' to which the second nun replied 'No, i haven't. But i've touched a penis with my hands before though.' St Peter then told her to wash her hands in the basin of holy water and then proceed to enter heaven. At this point of time, the fourth nun immediately jumped ahead of the third nun ahead of the queue. St Peter, clearly irrate at the fourth nun's behaviour scolded her. 'Hey, what do you think you're doing!' To which the fourth nun replied pointing at the third nun 'i'm sorry about that, but i would want to gargle in the basin before she puts her ass in it....' "
my form teacher, Mr David Chen was one of those old-school prudes who probably derives pleasure in telling the entire class about his lifestory during what was supposed to be English lessons. interestingly, Mr Chen has a frienster profile btw, probably done up by one my juniors who's being taught by him. his stories ranged from the ego-trips describing how he was an former ASP in the policeforce, a master degree holder (which he felt sorta makes him a cut above his peers during his time and hence his decision to become a teacher seemingly an act of self-sacrifice), or how he is on close terms with some members of the upper crust of singaporean society (such as a certain Dr WC Chen or something who was supposed to be some big fuck in Thomson medical centre). to the grandfather-ish stories about how life was so tough in his teens, and how he managed to improve his english by carrying a little notebook which he uses to jot down words which he din know while reading readers' digest. and to the outrageous such as that recalling how a student sought counselling with him after the student was ass-raped on his way home during his first year as a teacher at New Town Sec sch, or perhaps my personal favourite: his embellished description of the old Toa Payoh riots (which i dun even think he was involved in), in which women in the slums or villages there who refused to be vacated from their homes when the government wanted to reclaim the state land to build flats and then stripped naked to taunt the riot police and challenged them to crawl under their legs.he was a very staunch christian as well, which probably will explain what happened to me.
so during one of his usual ego-induglence rants, i was sitting at my desk, quietly reading my joke book which i discreetly placed under the book compartment below the desk. somehow Mr Chen found out, and was pretty peeved at the fact that someone in class was not interested in listening to his stories and then confiscated my joke book and gave a few usual scolding and then promptly went back to his story-telling. well i thought that was that and the lesson ended.
and when Mr Chen came back to class for another period in the later part of the day, he was suddenly inexplicably pissed. apparantly some other teacher complained to him about our class's misdemeanors, and started singleling students out for punishment because in his words, 'u bloody fools, u disgraced me in front of other teachers'. so after Alywin and Dunyi was singled out to stand outside the class, i suddenly found his attention directed at me. he then slammed my joke book onto the teacher's desk and said i was an 'undesirable influence on the class'. to make his point, Mr Chen then read out a few random jokes from the book to the rest of the class. instead of serving to reinforce whatever point he was trying to make, that actually tickled the whole class off and everyone started laughing - except Mr Chen himself. he grew even more pissed started shouting at our whole class and called me a bloody idiot whose mind is corrupted by such dirty, blasphemous book. i mean come on lor, during recess time or free periods our entire class always had our own mini porn website exchange symposium or PCC 101 discussion as any other classful of young pubescent boys would and somehow I AM supposed to be the only one with a corrupted mind? I tried to argue with him saying that it was only a joke book, and that it was nothing at all. somehow that pushed him over the edge and before i could even state my point of view, Mr Chen lost the plot, and cut me out while pointing his finger at me in words that i will always remember: 'YOU! You are the Devil's Incarnate which Satan sent to destroy the entire class!!!' and then went on ranting about how it was the devil's insidious work of how i'm am sent to undermine God's teachings blah blah blah. shortly after, i found myself joining Alywin and Dunyi outside the class. i was like WTF? Alywin was there because he was wise-cracking and hence pissed off our bitch-of-a history teacher Agnes 'square-jawed' Lim, Dunyi cos' he never ever does his homework and was the mastermind in locking our chinese teacher outside the classroom during the day we were supposed to have our chinese test. and me, all because i was reading a joke book during lesson?!
after the lesson, the 3 of us were marched off to the teachers' room and stood outside there. Cheebye, those kaypoh students and teachers who dun even teach our class who would walk pass and make stupid comments or ask us what was our crime are just so fucking irritating. i just din know what to answer so i just said i wasn't paying attention in class. Mr Chen then asked us for our house numbers and started calling up our parents one by one. i thought that was IT. at thirteen, it is a huge taboo to have a teacher calling up ur parents. strangely, as i found out after going home that day, my parents were in fact, pretty bemused by the whole incident and just got off with some token scoldings. and for the rest of the year, i was known by the class as the Devil's Incaranate, as some sort of a term of endearment fortunately. most of the class didn't ostracise me at all though according to sow chen -whom i befriended later on in sec 2 - at that point, being the good-2-shoes that he was quite convinced that i am a negative influence and thus shouldn't talk to me.
the whole shebang actually seems quite amusing in hindsight, but at that point of time, it was considerably traumatic. but through it all, i never really resented Mr Chen. Sure he wasn't exactly the best teacher around, at least he was entertaining. that was in fact the only time when he described me as the devil incarnate. in the years after i graduated, he was still one of those teachers that i would always look for for a chat whenever i return to my alma mater for a visit. oh yes, he was also endearingly nicknamed 'Bulldog Face' by our class then. somehow he eventually found out about it when someone bao tohed to him and Dunyi was again under the brunt of his wrath, another story for another day.
Mr David Chen, AKA Bulldog Face.
it all started when i brought this joke book into class. it was sorta of like a compilation of jokes found in the ancient cyberspace then. being the cyberspace joke book that it is, the contents wasn't exactly in line with the singaporean perception of humor then , especially with its many jokes involving sex and religion which certainly didn't go down well with the puritans, as i would soon find out to my own detriment. here's an example of one of the jokes found inside the book:
" Four nuns died in a car accident and they soon arrived to heaven in front of the Pearly gates. St Peter who was in charged there, got the 4 nuns to line up in a straight line and went through the usual pre-heaven entry procedure interrogating them one by one. St Peter then asked the first nun 'Have you ever had sex before?' And the first nun replied 'No i haven't, but i've seen one before though'. St Peter then said, 'good, wash your eyes in this basin of holy water and then proceed to enjoy eternal life in the kingdom of the Lord.' The first nun did as she was told and gleefully went through the Pearly gates. St Peter then asked the second nun ''Have you ever had sex before?' to which the second nun replied 'No, i haven't. But i've touched a penis with my hands before though.' St Peter then told her to wash her hands in the basin of holy water and then proceed to enter heaven. At this point of time, the fourth nun immediately jumped ahead of the third nun ahead of the queue. St Peter, clearly irrate at the fourth nun's behaviour scolded her. 'Hey, what do you think you're doing!' To which the fourth nun replied pointing at the third nun 'i'm sorry about that, but i would want to gargle in the basin before she puts her ass in it....' "
my form teacher, Mr David Chen was one of those old-school prudes who probably derives pleasure in telling the entire class about his lifestory during what was supposed to be English lessons. interestingly, Mr Chen has a frienster profile btw, probably done up by one my juniors who's being taught by him. his stories ranged from the ego-trips describing how he was an former ASP in the policeforce, a master degree holder (which he felt sorta makes him a cut above his peers during his time and hence his decision to become a teacher seemingly an act of self-sacrifice), or how he is on close terms with some members of the upper crust of singaporean society (such as a certain Dr WC Chen or something who was supposed to be some big fuck in Thomson medical centre). to the grandfather-ish stories about how life was so tough in his teens, and how he managed to improve his english by carrying a little notebook which he uses to jot down words which he din know while reading readers' digest. and to the outrageous such as that recalling how a student sought counselling with him after the student was ass-raped on his way home during his first year as a teacher at New Town Sec sch, or perhaps my personal favourite: his embellished description of the old Toa Payoh riots (which i dun even think he was involved in), in which women in the slums or villages there who refused to be vacated from their homes when the government wanted to reclaim the state land to build flats and then stripped naked to taunt the riot police and challenged them to crawl under their legs.he was a very staunch christian as well, which probably will explain what happened to me.
so during one of his usual ego-induglence rants, i was sitting at my desk, quietly reading my joke book which i discreetly placed under the book compartment below the desk. somehow Mr Chen found out, and was pretty peeved at the fact that someone in class was not interested in listening to his stories and then confiscated my joke book and gave a few usual scolding and then promptly went back to his story-telling. well i thought that was that and the lesson ended.
and when Mr Chen came back to class for another period in the later part of the day, he was suddenly inexplicably pissed. apparantly some other teacher complained to him about our class's misdemeanors, and started singleling students out for punishment because in his words, 'u bloody fools, u disgraced me in front of other teachers'. so after Alywin and Dunyi was singled out to stand outside the class, i suddenly found his attention directed at me. he then slammed my joke book onto the teacher's desk and said i was an 'undesirable influence on the class'. to make his point, Mr Chen then read out a few random jokes from the book to the rest of the class. instead of serving to reinforce whatever point he was trying to make, that actually tickled the whole class off and everyone started laughing - except Mr Chen himself. he grew even more pissed started shouting at our whole class and called me a bloody idiot whose mind is corrupted by such dirty, blasphemous book. i mean come on lor, during recess time or free periods our entire class always had our own mini porn website exchange symposium or PCC 101 discussion as any other classful of young pubescent boys would and somehow I AM supposed to be the only one with a corrupted mind? I tried to argue with him saying that it was only a joke book, and that it was nothing at all. somehow that pushed him over the edge and before i could even state my point of view, Mr Chen lost the plot, and cut me out while pointing his finger at me in words that i will always remember: 'YOU! You are the Devil's Incarnate which Satan sent to destroy the entire class!!!' and then went on ranting about how it was the devil's insidious work of how i'm am sent to undermine God's teachings blah blah blah. shortly after, i found myself joining Alywin and Dunyi outside the class. i was like WTF? Alywin was there because he was wise-cracking and hence pissed off our bitch-of-a history teacher Agnes 'square-jawed' Lim, Dunyi cos' he never ever does his homework and was the mastermind in locking our chinese teacher outside the classroom during the day we were supposed to have our chinese test. and me, all because i was reading a joke book during lesson?!
after the lesson, the 3 of us were marched off to the teachers' room and stood outside there. Cheebye, those kaypoh students and teachers who dun even teach our class who would walk pass and make stupid comments or ask us what was our crime are just so fucking irritating. i just din know what to answer so i just said i wasn't paying attention in class. Mr Chen then asked us for our house numbers and started calling up our parents one by one. i thought that was IT. at thirteen, it is a huge taboo to have a teacher calling up ur parents. strangely, as i found out after going home that day, my parents were in fact, pretty bemused by the whole incident and just got off with some token scoldings. and for the rest of the year, i was known by the class as the Devil's Incaranate, as some sort of a term of endearment fortunately. most of the class didn't ostracise me at all though according to sow chen -whom i befriended later on in sec 2 - at that point, being the good-2-shoes that he was quite convinced that i am a negative influence and thus shouldn't talk to me.
the whole shebang actually seems quite amusing in hindsight, but at that point of time, it was considerably traumatic. but through it all, i never really resented Mr Chen. Sure he wasn't exactly the best teacher around, at least he was entertaining. that was in fact the only time when he described me as the devil incarnate. in the years after i graduated, he was still one of those teachers that i would always look for for a chat whenever i return to my alma mater for a visit. oh yes, he was also endearingly nicknamed 'Bulldog Face' by our class then. somehow he eventually found out about it when someone bao tohed to him and Dunyi was again under the brunt of his wrath, another story for another day.
Mr David Chen, AKA Bulldog Face.
3 Comments:
haha, yeah but unfortunately my teacher din see the humour in it.
That guy just had this over-righteous attitude.
Old and stubborn so called Christians that judged upon everything as if they were GOD themselves. lol
well beyond the self-righteousness and self-indulgent attitude, he was a pretty alright teacher though.
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