the virgin undergraduate's virgin stint

so the procrastination armed forces won. we sustained heavy casualties at the final showdown at objective codenamed financial accounting...goddamit. it was such an overwhelming victory that i even procrastinated on updating this blog...hehe
i spent the entire week after my exams househunting and unfortunately, we didn't for this gorgeous apartment in 'maltings' at northbridge - the nightlife hub of perth.





at AUD$350 per week, it was arguably rather steep not to mention the fact that it's a considerable distance away from campus. it's times like these that i really wished i passed both my previous attempts at getting a driving license, fuck....
but fortunately, we eventually settled on an almost equally gorgeous townhouse at monash avenue which is just a 10 mins walk from campus and just across the medicine library. it's double storeyed as well. at AUD$325 per week, it's a pretty good deal. our only fear is that this might well be the start of a long string of troubles. for a start, scott is the only one outta the 3 of us who has some sorta functional cooking ability...by that what i actually mean is 'edible food'. furthermore, the house is unfurnished which means we probably have to spend the first few day hunting for furniture and the first few nights sleeping on the floor when we get back.
shifting house is a bitch, searching for summer storage is an even skankier one. under the lease contract, we can only take over the house from the 1st Dec and the term stated requires the house to be totally empty. devoid of a place to store our belongings, we had to go around begging for help with storing our stuff over the summer. one can never underestimate the human capacity to collect tons and tons of rubbish, to put it in perspective, collectively apart from the 2 large plastic storage boxes, 9 cardboard boxes, 1 ironing board, 2 printers, and 2 speaker sets we even had a 15kg box of pure washing powder courtesy of scott's brother to handle. as far as possible, i really really dun wanna shift houses again, not for the next 3 yrs at least.
it was a bittersweet moment leaving trinity college. well i couldn't really say i spent much of my time immersing in the college culture, and that the food really sucked, but college life was fun while it lasted. days of hedonistically spontaneous impromptu drinking sessions, LAN gaming and waking up to a ready-made hot breakfast are over. having said that, i didn't achieved the cross cultural experience i originally expected when i first stepped into trinity, not the least after i started hanging only with the singaporeans and malaysians in college. but oh well, perhaps i'm a closet xenophobe after all. apart from the outrageous AUD$250 per week accomodation fee, here's to an otherwise great college.

the benefit of eating trinity food everyday, is that everything else u eat tastes unbelievably delicious











it's a wonder how i managed to survive the mess i created in my room


when in doubt, open up. liquor, the next best cure for loneliness besides a hot girlfriend

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it feels weird coming back home. it's like nothing much has changed, yet there is this ostensible sense of detachment and unfamiliarity. it might be the weather for a start, cos it's unbearably humid, or maybe it's just the people since i have yet to meet up with most of my buddies cos they're still having their exams. i wonder is this what they term as a reverse culture shock, hmm...

i landed my self the dream temp job - as a replacement coach for the 'dictators' while xander is busy mugging away. my virgin stint as a coach taking a team through an entire competition. for the past few days, nothing other than the name 'yasser arafat' as dominated my sentient being. no paycheck can ever offer a better reward than this - a chance to lead one's alma mater to defend a debating championship title. the VJC invitationals starts on saturday. it's gonna be a 3 round power pairing preliminaries. we're up against SCGS for the proposing the motion 'TH mourns the death of yasser arafat' for the prepared round. historically, the dec holidays is 'puberty period' for the sec 3 debaters. by all accounts, that dun seem to be happening. something has to be done. God help me, i really really really WANT to win this championship. that's the least i could do to repay an institution that has given me so much more.

battlelog: D+2: the capturing of EBS hill

Warning Orders:

(as per previous warning order)

Operations Orders:

Background: (as per previous warning order)

Specific Enemy: 1 X battalion of PAF deployed at objective EBS hill.

Specific objective: A specific assault on hill EBS with the intention of the objective situated on the hill.

Greater objective: the eventual defeat of PAF and the recapture of the contested area codenamed 'JY's mind' and specifically the capture of 4 mission objectives: (codenamed respectively and chronologically) Macroeconomics, EBS, Political Science and Financial Accounting

Equipment: - 3 X armoured vehicles codenamed 'Textbooks'
- 1 X 5-tonner codenamed 'research for essay'
- 7 x 7-ton carriers codenamed 'past year papers'

Rations: Combat rations throughout with the exception of D-day lunch of fresh rations at homebank site 'subiaco'.

ammo: - contact rate of 4 pens per pencil case
- 1 X tracer round (liquid paper)
- 1 X Area Defence Mine (scientific calculator)

Battle log:
12th MAD deployed at objective Macroeconomics over D+1. Over the duration of the field deployment, rations, ammo and water supply was replenished in preparation for the imminent assault on the 2nd objective located on EBS hill. At D+1 1300 hours (reveille), Warning orders were issued. And at D+2 0800 hours, Ops orders were issued on the conduct of the assault on EBS hill. 12th MAD is launch a massive assault on EBS hill via 11 different routes (each codenmed 'question') The code name of each specific route follows as per SOL (where Analysis of Variance = Route 1, Chi-Squared Testing = Route 2, Hypothesis Testing = Route 3 etc)

At D+2 0900 hours (h-hour), permission was granted by Higher HQ to commence assault. Under the cover of air strikes and heavy artillery bombardment, 12th MAD met relatively little resistance from the battalion of PAF troops as compared to the tedious assault on D-day at objective Macroeconomics. All our armoured convoys successfully reached the objective at EBS hill and added on to the barage of firepower directed on enemy forces deployed there. At h+2.5 hours, enemy forces have stopped firing and at h+3, the commanding officer of the 2th Infantry Battalion Procrastination Armed Forces have officially issued a statement of unconditional surrender. All POWs are accounted for and the Geneva protocol is to be adhered to by all members of 12th MAD by all times (aka no water dunking).

We're expected to deploy at EBS hill for another 4 days in preparation for the 2 final assault on objectives Political Science and Financial Accounting, which are expected to commence a day apart. Our intelligence recce report from Higher HQ indicate that there appears to be a group of special forces deployed at objective Poltical Science where a number of our kidnapped 'political scientists' who were previously involved in classified military technology research are held. Further ground reconaissance has to be conducted to confirm this. All Brigade Recce Companies (BRC) of 12th MAD will be deployed for this endeavor. The first wave of recce operations will be conducted at the area codenamed 'Reid Library'. Further briefings will be made before the next mission.

End of Ops Orders.

battle log: d-day h-8 hours

Warning Orders:

Background: as of d-8, diplomatic talks have ceased, the confrontation with the procrastination armed forces (PAF) continues. the PAF continues its unauthorised occupation of the contested region codenamed 'JY's mind'. A buffer zone has been set up in the area codenamed UWA.

Operations Orders:

at D-day h hours, a declaration of war was issued to the PAF. 12th Muggers'Armoured Division (35 MAD) is deployed to conduct inland water rafting ops to support the projection of 1 X infantry division to facilitate the recapturing of the mission objectives.

D-Day, H-hour: 061104, 0900hrs
Enemy: 1 X division of PAF

Specific Enemy: 1 X battalion of PAF deployed at objective macroeconomics.

Specific objective: A specific 2 X 1-3-1 almond rafting ops across river 'stirling highway' supporting a 3 pronged assault on the PAF border commencing at h hour with the intention to capture objective 1 codenamed 'Macroeconmics' by h+2 hours.

Greater objective: the eventual defeat of PAF and the recapture of the contested area codenamed 'JY's mind' and specifically the capture of 4 mission objectives: (codenamed respectively and chronologically) Macroeconomics, EBS, Political Science and Financial Accounting

Equipment: - 3 X armoured vehicles codenamed 'Textbooks'
- 1 X 5-tonner codenamed 'research for essay'
- 7 x 7-ton carriers codenamed 'past year papers'

Rations: Combat rations throughout with the exception of D-day lunch of fresh rations at homebank site 'subiaco'.

ammo: - contact rate of 4 pens per pencil case
- 1 X tracer round (liquid paper)
- 1 X Area Defence Mine (scientific calculator)

Battle log:
Fierce fighting marked the first day of fighting, with our troops coming under heavy artillery bombardment at far bank site (codenamed exam hall). we were able to ensure the completion of 2 out of the 3 rafting circuit, with the remaining 1 (codenamed 'short answer question') uncompleted as a result of vehicle bogging down. at h+2 hours, objective Macroeconomics was captured. an unacertained amount of casualties was sustained although it is believed that at least 60% of men remained fighting fit. 12 MAD is expected to harbour and deploy at objective Macroeconomics till D+2. Further briefings will be made before the assault on the next objective codenamed Economic and Business Statistics (EBS). 12 MAD is expected to encounter fiercer resistence.

(truncated)

End of Ops Orders.

a new dimension to halloween

after 21 years of sedated existence, i finally attended the a halloween/fancy dress event last week. it was the last formal dinner at trinity college for the semester and a halloween, fancy dress dinner too. it might well be my last formal dinner at trinity since i'm pretty certain that i'll be living off campus next year.
well traditionally, with a theme like halloween, you would probably expect the usual witches, pumpkin heads, ghost, vampires shit. well under the financial and time constraints, i couldn't possibly afford to spend time or money to shopping for a fancy constume. given the above mentioned constraints...hmm, what's cheap, easy to wear, and motherfuckingly scary....EUREKA! the answer came while i was googling for resources on iraq when i came accross this (not for the faint of heart, seriously. not unless u enjoy watching people getting decapitated) who needs mythical bogeymen like the monsters under the beds, vampires or broom riding witches to cajole (or coerce rather) little brats to bed when you have mr bin laden and partners. imagine showing your kid a nick berg decapitation video while explaining to little johnny that the men in masks were sent to punish little boys who refused to go to sleep when it's past bedtime. that should do the trick.


'i hereby decree a fatwa on all trinity residents who stubbornly refuse to attend formal dinner'


'he who refuses to consume dinner has sinned heniously!'


'the path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities by the selfishness and tyranny of evil man. blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill sheapards the weak through the valley of darkness for he is truly his brothers' keeper'


'and i will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers! and you'll know my name is the Lord when i lay my vengeance upon thee!!!'


(gibberish)'DEATH TO INFIDELS! (gibberish) GOD IS GREAT!! (X 20 times)'



'we're back in business' for several consecutive months, the top single of the charts and the most dedicated song on iraqi airwaves is 'Where's your head at?' by Basement Jaxx...hmm i wonder why....




the third annual global terrorist costume exposition fair held in fallujah


now THAT is some scary shit....




Revised Guidelines for sucide terrorists: in light of the recent increasing in the number of botched sucide bomb attacks by our female sucide squad, we've unamimously came to the conclusion that it is the donning of the burqa that makes our mujahideen sisters easily identifiable. in light of this discovery, we have decided in allowing our female sucide squad to blend into the crowd of decadent western infidel heathens, the costume shown in the above photos shall henceforth be adopted as the universal dresscode for all our female fighters during sucide missions'


end of 'terror convention' feast.

As i've mentioned earlier on, i've more or less decided on staying off campus next semester with the rest of my buddies. we're hoping to find a place that can accomodate most of us together or at least in close proximity to each of us. here's the first house that we viewed. it's muthafucking huge. 6 rooms, 2 storeyed. built in 1977, complete with chandaliers and classy dining furniture - all at an unbelievable price of A$575 per week, which roughly works out to be A$96 pax. to put it in perspective, i'm paying A$239 per week now(which will eventually be A$252 per week) for a small room, crap food, and getting pissed off on a regular basis by discourteous cafeteria staff.








located at kings park, complete with serenity, a spectucular view overlooking the swan river, at close proximity to campus, and at an unbeatable price, that seems as good as it gets. i'm cool with the house, especially with the balcony and the backyard, in the words of joel 'imagine what we can do with the house...' Drunken frat parties!! it's gonna be a wet dream come through... less a pool though, unfortunately. but somehow tom feels somewhat 'uncomfortable' with the house if u get what i mean. he thinks the deal is 'too good to be true' and that there's gotta be a catch. he's kinda sensitive to elements that less gifted people like are are unable to sense. well not as far fetched as in the third eye sense, but apparantly as he told us, he went to a housewarming party of a church friend once, and was spooked by the house, and within 2 months the couple shifted out of the house. all for one, one for all, we we can't get him in, we ain't going in. looks like the deal is off. send a eulogy to my broken fantasies alright.