catharsis of a virgin intern
Awesome, must first ever entry from my work place.
While I dun exactly like the sneaky feeling of malingering on my job while pretending as if I’m actually doing something constructive complete with you know, the upright posture and slightly-perturbed-at-work face, I must say, there’s some gratification in the getting into the cheap thrill of simply doing something and not get caught. And of course, it probably helps that I’m still ahead of schedule for my project – barely though.
There’s great wisdom to be learnt surviving in the office, as I’ve appreciated in the past 2 weeks or so. In fact, they could and certainly should weave it into a compulsory module for all final year students and soon-to-be ‘salary-men/salary-women’.
For posterity’s sake, here’re some of the Intern’s Office Survival Tips that I’ve found out.
1) “That drinking - however little- on night before a workday that isn’t a very good idea. “
The same goes for DVD watching, DoTA or any random activity that extends beyond 2am.
2) “That potties make the best beds”
However, should you do indulge in #1, DO NOT attempt to steal forty winks at your work desk. For a 15 mins nap on top of a covered potty inside a toilet cubicle makes a far cozier and safer choice as a cure for sleep derivation/boredom/sheer lethargy. Unless of course, a fellow co-worker decides to take a bona fide dump in the cubicle beside you….
3) ‘That the best time to go for lunch is at 12.30 pm’.
This probably needs some explanation. Assuming you’re working in an office where lunch breaks are scheduled over 2 separate 1 hour slots, the first one from 12 to 1, and the other one from 1 to 2. From a pragmatic POV, going for lunch at 12.30 would allow you to avoid the brunt of the 1200 lunch crowd at the food courts since majority of them would have finished lunch and are either shopping or limming kopi elsewhere, while at the same time letting you get a headstart over the 1pm lunch crowd. But most importantly, is the elasticity of lunch break that this strategy affords you. Here’s the logic: theoretically speaking, most people tend to choose the 12pm slot to break for lunch, which is at least the case in my office. But while there’s a consensus that lunch breaks should be limited to 1 hour, there exists some ambiguity as to whether what time you can choose to break for lunch. As such, one can reasonably claim to break for lunch at 12.30pm and return at 1.30 pm without appearing to violate the rules. Here’s the beauty of it all. When you break for lunch at 12.30pm, the first wave of co-workers naturally assume that you’re in for the 1pm slot since they would have left the office way before 12.30pm. At the same time, with a little finesse, you can enjoy a 1hr 20 mins lunch break as long as you return to the office before 2pm, and before those who left at 1pm.
For maximum effect, theoretically, one could attempt a lunch break that spans between 12.15pm till 1.50pm, though I’ve never dared to test the system that far. However if you happen to be interning at one of the accounting firms like some of my luckier lunch kahkis, feel free to enjoy 2 hour lunch breaks. You’re an auditor, 2 hour lunch breaks are your entitlement. What you suffer in job scope monotony, you make it up for longer lunches. The world seems fair after all…
Ok, that’s all I have to share for now, if you have any little discoveries yourself, feel free to share it with me, the struggling, virgin intern.
While I dun exactly like the sneaky feeling of malingering on my job while pretending as if I’m actually doing something constructive complete with you know, the upright posture and slightly-perturbed-at-work face, I must say, there’s some gratification in the getting into the cheap thrill of simply doing something and not get caught. And of course, it probably helps that I’m still ahead of schedule for my project – barely though.
There’s great wisdom to be learnt surviving in the office, as I’ve appreciated in the past 2 weeks or so. In fact, they could and certainly should weave it into a compulsory module for all final year students and soon-to-be ‘salary-men/salary-women’.
For posterity’s sake, here’re some of the Intern’s Office Survival Tips that I’ve found out.
1) “That drinking - however little- on night before a workday that isn’t a very good idea. “
The same goes for DVD watching, DoTA or any random activity that extends beyond 2am.
2) “That potties make the best beds”
However, should you do indulge in #1, DO NOT attempt to steal forty winks at your work desk. For a 15 mins nap on top of a covered potty inside a toilet cubicle makes a far cozier and safer choice as a cure for sleep derivation/boredom/sheer lethargy. Unless of course, a fellow co-worker decides to take a bona fide dump in the cubicle beside you….
3) ‘That the best time to go for lunch is at 12.30 pm’.
This probably needs some explanation. Assuming you’re working in an office where lunch breaks are scheduled over 2 separate 1 hour slots, the first one from 12 to 1, and the other one from 1 to 2. From a pragmatic POV, going for lunch at 12.30 would allow you to avoid the brunt of the 1200 lunch crowd at the food courts since majority of them would have finished lunch and are either shopping or limming kopi elsewhere, while at the same time letting you get a headstart over the 1pm lunch crowd. But most importantly, is the elasticity of lunch break that this strategy affords you. Here’s the logic: theoretically speaking, most people tend to choose the 12pm slot to break for lunch, which is at least the case in my office. But while there’s a consensus that lunch breaks should be limited to 1 hour, there exists some ambiguity as to whether what time you can choose to break for lunch. As such, one can reasonably claim to break for lunch at 12.30pm and return at 1.30 pm without appearing to violate the rules. Here’s the beauty of it all. When you break for lunch at 12.30pm, the first wave of co-workers naturally assume that you’re in for the 1pm slot since they would have left the office way before 12.30pm. At the same time, with a little finesse, you can enjoy a 1hr 20 mins lunch break as long as you return to the office before 2pm, and before those who left at 1pm.
For maximum effect, theoretically, one could attempt a lunch break that spans between 12.15pm till 1.50pm, though I’ve never dared to test the system that far. However if you happen to be interning at one of the accounting firms like some of my luckier lunch kahkis, feel free to enjoy 2 hour lunch breaks. You’re an auditor, 2 hour lunch breaks are your entitlement. What you suffer in job scope monotony, you make it up for longer lunches. The world seems fair after all…
Ok, that’s all I have to share for now, if you have any little discoveries yourself, feel free to share it with me, the struggling, virgin intern.
5 Comments:
All i can say ... u are a chao keng! wahahahaha! :P
I slept in the airport toilets last time, when I was having a job. Played Ragnarok Online til 4 am the day before.
sb: haha, u must have been on OPS Bacinet at the airport right?
The lunch hour strategy is such an ingeniuous plan! If I ever do need an intern, I will hire you haha...
hahahaha.....the potties part is sooo definitely true!!! I usually take a small nap in the loo when i am unbearably exhausted. but i usually choose toilets which are empty most of the times otherwise my beauty sleep will be disrupted by noise.
then again, you can claim tt you had diarrhoea and everyone will be sympathising with you instead.
as for the 1230pm lunch......shall try it some time. =))
Post a Comment
<< Home