i wonder if incarceration turns people to pedophalia

i can't seem to stop perceiving numbers around everything i do. working has it perks. for one, there can be no other way to appreciate the pleasure of procrastination if there is no basis of comparison, hence most things are contingent on its relativity one another entity. for eg, i wouldn't appreciate slackness if i didn't start working, or how the cinematic perception of speed is relative to the presence of a stationary object, fast facts courtesy of martin scorcese's 'The Aviator' secondly, i tend to spend less when i'm working, especially when lunch's provided for. thirdly, you get to learn how to use excel, or at least in my case. fourthly, you'll grow very very sentimentally attached to your desktop and especially that ergonomically designed number pad at the right side of your keyboard after you spend a good 7-8 hours inputting numbers using only the top line of number keys on a laptop.

the crowning moment of my day actually came purely by chance when i was at plaza sing meeting sow chen to watch The Aviator. i met calvin chua, or shld i say PTE Calvin Chua with his new girlfriend at the entrance and had a short chat with him. it was the girlfriend that inspired the title of the entry as i would explain later.

calvin chua was a recruit in my platoon during my brief stint as a section 2IC at the final days of my army career. and i was the section 2IC of his bunk during his physical training phase..sorta a foreplay to the basic military training phase. calvin chua is one hella an interesting character, for all the wrong reasons though. when he first enlisted, he came across as one of the lankier, wimpier, sychophantic but rather non-trouble making recruits. i could still recall the one of the first things he asked me was whether we know a certain 'Thomas Kor Kor' who was in fact sgt thomas who was a regular formerly at bravo coy, my coy. in his exact words, when he was asking us if there was anyway that recruits could be allowed to go home every night, 'thomas kor kor says we can ask CO for permission to stay out if we got family problems' in a totally super disgusting act cute way...he's 21 this year for the record. apparantly, this Thomas Kor Kor tried to impart him with funny ideas about how to beat the system in army, which Calvin chua obediently abided to...with some rather radical modifications on the way though.

for a start, Calvin Chua would always try and emphasise the fact that we was facing girlfriend problems during his platoon commander interviews (which were supposed to be kept confidential if not for the fact about how things turned up later on) that how he would cry himself to sleep, and how his girlfriend was sexually abused by her own father and hence is emotionally unstable and estranged from the family. he even went as far to say how his girlfriend was pregnant (his child as he claims) and that she was having some health problems as well and he wanted to ask for time-off to accompany her. he was really trying to push his luck a little too far, like they all say, recruits are the lowest life forms in the army. if lao jiaos likes us are barely accorded human rights in its entirety, what more a xin jiao recruit? but fortunately for him, he had a really kind PC which was also my PC, 2LT Eric who would really try to accomodate him to the best of his abilities. so there was this once when the girlfren actually kept pestering 2LT Eric about wanting to COME INTO THE CAMP to visit calvin chua, which definitely flys smack against everything stated on every motherfucking SAF regimental guideline you can find. so ok, in the end, there was a compromise, me as his section 2IC was supposed to get a letter from the gf at the camp gate and bring it to calvin chua and the pc stating her medical condition and her plead to get calvin chua to accompany her to the doctor. a personal dispatch service from your own superior, i dun believe recruit welfare gets any better than that. so me and ah po, a fellow cpl picked up the letter from her. she looked pretty young, around 16-17 perhaps, and rather thin which is totally unlike that of a pregnant lady. as it turns out, the surgery which she wants calvin chua to accompany her to was some minor eye operation, not some major do or die surgery as calvin chua would want the PC to believe. then not too long after that, calvin chua signed 3 confinements for locking the bunk key in the bunk, which to be fair to him, is a rather disportionately heavy punishment. the last bookout before the week he was supposed to serve his confinement, calvin chua went AWOL. he went AWOL for about a week before turning himself in one morning, much to the surprise of everybody. as it turns out, he turned himself in cos' he spent watever money he has left in his bank account after spending the entire week or 2 in sentosa with his gf. he was kept isolated in the conselling room as part of the protocol and me and benny, a fellow cpl from his platoon were designated to look after him lest he tried to kill himself or something. he seemed exceptionally solemmn, and although we were not allowed to communicate with him while he was waiting for his orders AKA official sending off ceremony to detention barracks -the army version of a jail, benny and i tried to advice him not as a superior but rather as a more lao jiao senior. we told him how the best way to enjoy army is to simply stay out of trouble or to try anything funny and that 10 days (the market rate for virgin AWOLees) isn't a very long time, so once he's out, he can start afresh and shun shun finish Serving And Fuck off, one of the classic adapted abbrieviations of the SAF. he seemed calm and rather receptive, so we tot ok, maybe he really did see the light.

so 10 days gone by and calvin chua was out. again as part of exclusive welfare, our OC allowed the suspension of his confinement and that he would be allowed to book out on the coming weekend after his release and he shall only serve his outstanding confinements the following week. by late sunday night that weekend, Calvin chua still hasn't booked in. that champion probably earned himself a place in the annals of SAF lore by establishing himself as the only idiot who AWOLs immediately after release from DB. so this time round, me, Benny, and 2 sergeants from platoon 4 were sent to his calvin chua's house for a house visit to understand the background situation. his parents were more angry rather than upset about the way his son turned out. he was the only son and his parents were working. upon asking several questions, we found out through his parents that his gf ran away from home too since his parents forced him for his girlfren's family's contact after his first AWOL. they seemed adamant that their son was led astray by the girl and that he needed to be taught a lesson to 'brainwash' him. his father kept on appealing to us to send him to prison etc etc, not that we had to authority to do so anyway. we also found out that in his hurry to AWOL, he even left his wallet behind, which was a non-issue since he had a grand total of $1 plus in his bank account and more importantly, that his gf's mom reveal that his gf was not pregnant. lying, cheating, AWOL, he did it all. even up till the day i ORDed, Calvin Chua still hasn't returned to Bravo Coy and have never seen him since. i heard from the specialists who stayed on that eventually he was caught by the police for shoplifting and was first sent to the civilian jail before he was made to serve another sentence in the Detention Barracks.

it wasn't until today that i saw him again. he's still rather botak, and for his sake, i hope he's not spending too much time in the 'SAF Chalet'. he still remembers me and that we is now in 3 SIR and from the fact that he's out on a week night, he's most probably either on nights off, or AWOL again. i wished him the best of luck and not to do anything silly again to which he gave the same sorta reply he gave me and benny when he turned himself in 'yes, i know'. he was holding hands to this really really young looking girl with a double pigtail and dressed all in pink. i'm very sure that it isn't the same girlfriend who i picked letters from cos she's very very much younger, alot plumper and she was grinning all this while in contrast to the ex who looked cooled and grungy. i was tempted to ask her if that was his sister until i remembered that he was the only son, so in my kaypohness i asked him causally if that was his girlfriend to which he gave a positive reply.... i had a hard time trying to hid shock, before acting non-chalently saying goodbye to him. the girl had quite a lot of baby fat, really short probably around 1.45 -1.5m, dresses like she's on an endorsement deal with bubblegummers and Osh Kosh with all the cute flowery shoes and dress plus the kiddy grin. she must have been around 14 max, i would even believe it if someone told me she's a rather bigger sized pri 5 or pri 6 girl. even sow chen, for all his moral ambiguity and crap about not conforming to the socialogical imposition of pre-suppositions agrees that it was very simply...very very wrong. and even if in the minute possibility that the girl is in fact 18, or 16 (slightly more plausible), it's still a heinous fashion crime nonetheless. i mean, yes i actually did consider asking my gf to wear jc and sec sch uniforms if i ever get one...but bubblegummers is way outta the line. statutory rape is no shit, and if the urban legends of what they do to child sex offenders is anything to go by, for calvin chua's sake, i hope he won't go into DB or prison again...then again, wouldn't u wonder what would be the next stage of peversion after that..necrophalia?

a glimpse into interpersonnel relations over one night at lao ban niangs

finally gathered enuf will to resist the force of the Procrastination Armed Forces to come back from my month long hiatus from blogging. went down to SRJC to watch the SRJC debate invitationals. Sadly, gong jiao only managed to secure one measly win outta the 3 rounds. then spent the evening drinking and watching soccer with a couple of friends in this somewhat anonymous bar behind the Dubliner which we endearingly refer to as Lao Ban Niang's. it's a pretty nice place to chill out, easy listening music, a projector screening soccer matches, affordable niche beers, pretty much a small but cosy place.

now, LBN is one the the favorite hangouts of this cirle of frens, which i shall term the marlboro gang. CQ, a good fren of mine used to bring his ex-gf DB down to LBN to meet up with the rest of the gang. DB is a pretty nice gal, kinda weird but generally accepted by the marlboro gang as a 'sister-in-law' at that point of time so as to speak. CQ and DB knew each other for a long long time, and been through alot together, and by that, it isn't just another cliche and i would dare say that they've been through a lot more than the conventional couple which i will be explaining later on. they knew each other since sec sch and were together for a while before they broke up when she left for oz for studies, but were still pretty much in contact and then patched up somewhere nearing the end of CQ's NS.

To describle DB is weird would somewhat be both an understatement and more pertinently a frivolous statement. she has medically certified depression. firstly, she suffers from low self esteem which is probably attributed to her unhappy experience at her secondary sch, an all gals sch where she was part of the lower academic stream and was subjected to quite alot of bullying. in addition, her low self-esteem somewhat manifested into anorexia during her uni years and it hit the roof when one of her best frens, a fellow bulimic died of anorexia. the worst blow came when DB became a most unfortunate victim of date rape during her 2nd year in uni in oz. it was something that she probably never walked out of as seen in the whole fracas during Bodyguard's (one of our fren) birthday last year where she downed a whole box of panadol and cried unconsolably. throughout all these, CQ stuck with her, visting her when she was warded for observation at the psychiatric ward, pandering to her constant need for reassurance of her being loved etc etc. in fact, CQ went as far as to communicate with her parents, just to make sure that her parents would not be worried about her, which will in turn compound the sense of guilt she perceives. with no other frens in singapore considering DB went over to oz after sec sch and her antagonistic relationship with her sec sch peers, DB depended entirely on CQ for emotional support. the relationship was strained when DB's insecurities heightened when CQ started his 1st yr in university shortly after he ORDed. DB grew increasingly possessive and unstable, and with the pressure CQ faces from sch, he eventually couldn't take it anymore and broke up with her.

well initially it was a somewhat amicable break up. until apparantly she started saying some rather negative things about CQ on her blog, and the coup de grace came when DB revealed to Bodyguard's gf (who in turned told Bodyguard who in turned told CQ) that she cheated on CQ while they were dating and slept with some guy when she went back to oz briefly. on top of that, DB started saying ridiculous things on her blog saying how she murdered her unborn child with CQ (which is highly questionable since CQ swore that he never ventured beyond heavy petting with DB) unknowingly when she downed the panadols and is wallowing over her guilt when she wasn't even pregnant in the first place. the general perception was that she was all out to slime him. they've not been on talking terms ever since. in fact, the entire marlboro gang hasn't been on talking terms with her, deleting her contact from msn.

to be fair to DB, we'll never know whether did she really cheat on CQ or whether was it simply a ruse to spike CQ. what we can be rather sure of, is that she truly loved CQ when she was together. when we arranged a chalet outing for the entire gang, she took great measures to make it run smoothly, getting the stuff etc etc. well although we agreed that logistically it wasn't really perfect, yet the effort she puts in just to please CQ's frens makes it seem more like she's expecting a marriage more than just another romance. being the quinessential kang tang, she also tried to fit into the marlboro gang trying to drop her aussie accent and improve her non-existent profiency in hokkien and mandarin. what we can be sure, is that her somewhat erratic and perhaps extreme behaviour can be attributed to her inner demons, specifically to her traumatic experience. and for that, i do have great sympathy and empathy towards her pain. but unfortunately, being the morally unambiguous lot with a sense of righteousness, the marlboro gang had huge misgivings towards the cheating incident and somewhat 'condemmned' her as a slut etc etc.

now back to LBN. most of the marlboro gang except CQ who was at a uni mate's birthday turned up tonight for soccer. coincidentally, in the middle of the liverpool southampton game, DB too arrived at LBN with her new beau. neither side acknowledged each other's presence. it wasn't really a high tension situation or anything but rather a bochup situation kinda thing. then mutu and bodyguard started making some whispered but audible disparaging remarks about her like 'liverpool sux, you know why are they losing? cos' that slut supports liverpool' and a few equivocal references about a 'smelly chee bye' etc etc. she probably din overheard what mutu and bodyguard said but their look was perhaps antagonistic enuf to send that msg. i wasn't entirely comfortable with the whole thing but i guess it would pretty much be a better idea not for either side to acknowledge each other esp since she's there with her bf, and given mutu and bodyguard's temper, things can indeed potentially turn ugly. out of those present, the only ones present which are arguably less antagonistic towards her are probably me and Ticko Shen since we were overseas when the whole episode between CQ and DB was in play in singapore. besides, DB did offer me and TKS some advice on studying overseas so i guess we do have some gratitude towards her help. and also, perhaps i was one of the few who did not delete her from my msn list, although i dun recall ever chatting to her online before. when i cameout of the rest room which was just a single unisex cubicle, DB was coincentally waiting to use the loo outside. we made some small talk and she appears to be doing fine and is pursuing an external MBA from some US uni, and said how she really wanted to come up and say hi to me and TKS asking us on how we're coping overseas respectively but was reluctant to do so considering the awkardness. all i could say was to wish her well and explain to her our situation and that mutu and bodyguard din mean bad, but it was really just a matter of taking a stand on the account of their friendship with CQ which she completely understands. this was a true reflection of the workings of peer pressure, when no one decides to acknowledge her presence, i just couldn't summon the moral courage to acknowledge the presence of a friend or at the very least that of an acquaintance, until she made the first step. in fact towards the end, before she left LBN, she actually call out my name softly and rather inaudibably which i pretended not to hear until she walked over tapping on my shoulder and said a very brief goodbye before leaving. all i could manage, was an expressionless, tokenistic wave back to her. i am rather ashamed of myself. people make choices, and we just have to live by the consequences of our choice. perhaps she made the choice for a unamicable end to the friendship between CQ and the rest of the gang through the things she said and hence have to live by the consequences of the cold shoulder she receives, and likewise, perhaps i made the choice to follow the crowd even when my conscience hints me otherwise, and i shall live with the consequence of this shame i feel.