Wednesday, July 20, 2005

over the hill i reckon

the long awaited tab for Australs is out. this is so darn embarrassing.... our overall team ranking is 53 outta 75 with 3 wins and 4 losses. to put things in perspective, we're actually ranked one notch below Singapore Polytechnic! with no disrepect to SP, it's just that if what i heard from Sydney's Rob who adjudicated them is anything to go by, they're a team who would unbashedly say things like 'our rebuttals are like the two planes which fly straight into the twin towers of the proposition's substantive case' during debates. and to be ranked below a team with such misguided flamboyance....sigh...

individual scores were even more dismal. yours truly was ranked 182 outta 222...this essentially means that i'm among the 40 worst speakers in Australs. this is such an unexpected reversal of fortunes from being the 16th best speaker at Westers to among the 40 worst speakers in Australs. perhaps it's really time to hang up my track books.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

in need of sleep rehab

just came back from the first day of debating. it was terrible. it was really fortunate that we managed to salvage one win outta 3 rounds today. it was an absolute torture for me to simply hear the crap that comes outta my own mouth. timing was bad, structure was non-existent, style was stuttery, analysis was woeful....argg. wtf am i even doing here get whipped left right centre. anyway, the social function at the port office or post office whatever was totally awesome and the bar tab courtesy of the UQ hosts more than made up for the fiasco in the opening night @ the Grosvenor. probably blog about it tmr or something. too fucking tired. how can debating not be a varsity sport when one gets pissed drunk and sleeps at like 2 and wakes up at 7.00 the next day to catch the fucking bus and spend the next 12 hrs of the day doing 3 separate debates?

Sunday, July 03, 2005

postcard from brisbane

guess what? i've landed since 7pm and still have yet to check in. apparantly we were told that we could only be given our keys at 2pm, and when i last check, 2pm became 3. it sux having to roam a city alone, and i dun think my team mates have arrived in brisbane yet. i'm bloody dog tired and spent the earlier part of the day roaming down george's st, watching some war veteran parade, curbing a nosebleed, and sleeping on a bench inside the museum. and to think the day started full of promises for adventure. how's that? i was waiting for a cab to the hotel in the airport taxi stand when i was approached by an ang moh cab driver to assist him in trying to communicate with this quaint chinese old man who spoke only cantonese. apparantly this old man was on the same flight as me which means that he boarded the flight in singapore. now here's the reason i would say that he's a quaint old man. initially, all the cabbie wanted to know was where did he want to be driven too. upon translating the message, our dear QOM replied in cantonese saying that he wants to go to Far Yuen Cheng Si, which i simply gave a direct translation asking the cabbie if there's a place in Brisbane called Garden City to which the cabbie concurred. but somehow our QOM started saying he wants to go home to the Far Yuen Cheng Si in Guangzhou and i was like wtf.. the conversation went something along these lines

me: Sin Sang, lei you hoi peen toh?
(sir, where do u wanna go)

QOM: far yuen cheng si, ngor hai kong zhao yao nok kei. ngor you hoi fatt shan(i wanna go to the garden city, and i've got a house over there, i live in Fuo Shan)

me: ?? sin sang, li tou hai Ou Zhao! lei gong zhou HO YUEN kah! zor chea moh ban fatt hoi fatt shan( sir, u ARE IN AUSTRALIA, ít's bloody far from guangzhou and u cannot possibly take a cab back to Fuo Shan from here)

QOM: (matter-of-factly tone) li tou hai Ou Zhao ah?
(i'm in australia?)

me: hai yah, li tou hai ou zhao, ley yao pang yao hai li tou mo(yup, this is australia, do u have any frens here)


(prepaid credits in cyber cafe going to expire...will update post later)

i'm back from the first social function at the grosvenor's. the event was crap. well i doesn't help that we've a very small contingent and pretty much everyone else from the eastern states knows pretty much everyone else, the drinks though cheap were impotent, and the music is pretty much what u'll come across from any mp3 playlist. or maybe it's just me being the usual anti-social, quasi autistic individual that i am - without sufficient influence of alcohol. anyway, back to the lore of the quaint old man.

QOM: yow ah *takes out a huge laminated sheet of names and contact details. i fucking swear it's the size of an A3 paper with contact details written in chinese of ostensibly frens from places like macau, hongkong, singapore, KL etc but definitely none in australia and much less any in brisbane* ...ngor hai li tou yao yak tong lao (yes, i've got frens here. and i own a house/building here)

me: sin sang, hai peen kor tong ley loy le tou? been kor bong ley mai fei kei pui?
(so sir, who accompanied you here and who bought ur tickets?)

QOM: ngor zi kei loy kare. bat yuen ley bei yat kor fei kei piu ngor bei ngor hoi tong lor wan toh ho. ngor oh tou yao pang yao
(i came here myself. why not u give me an air ticket so i can go to causeway bay - in hong kong -. i've got frens gover there)

me: *WTF!* huh! sin sang! ley ng hai yew zor chey hoi fa yuen cheng si meh?
(didn't u just say that u wanted to go to garden city)

QOM: tsim sha tsui toh zoh tak
(tsim sha tsui - in hong kong as well- would be fine with me too)

me: huh!! sin sang! ley toh lei heong kong HO YUEN HO YUEN AH! MO Hor nang zor chey hoy heong kong!!!!
(sir! where you are now, is fucking far from hong kong, and u cannot conceivably take a cab to tsim sha tsui)

QOM: huh, li toh hai been toh?
(serious? so where am i?)

me: li toh hai ou zhao!
(you are in australia)

QOM: huh, li toh hai ou zhao ah
(huh, so this is australia?)

me:.....*WTF*

at this point of time, i told the cabbie that he's not only alone but also very incoherent and i suggested that he get someone from some chinese union or at least a police who can understand cantonese to assist him

me: sin sang, le kor nok kei hai been toh? lei been toh xeong fei kei kare? kei kor can yan leh?
(sir, where is your home? where exactly did u board the plane? where's your family?)

QOM: ngor hai gong zhao seong fei kei, hoi sing kar por zao pang yao. ngor you yak gor zai

me: ley loi lee toh yew wan been kor zeh?
(so who are u looking for here)

QOM: ngor yew wan pang yao *takes out a piece of paper written in chinese saying 'australia (no mention or any city or state watsoever) and a contact number*

me: lei yao yan loi fei kei cheong jit lei mo?
(is there anyone coming here to pick u up?)

QOM: mo ah. ngor zare fei kei, hoi tek ng ji ngor loi li tou, yak si ji kan mo kor nang lai jit ngor
(no one's coming. they dun know that i'm coming here and at such a short notice, it's impossible for them to fetch me)
*as he opens his pouch putting back his paper slip, i realise he's got a huge stack of bills of SGD, AUD, and RMB)*

me: sin sang, lei siu sang tee. cheen ng yew bei yan tai toh
(sir, be careful. dun let others know how much money you've got.

QOM: orrr.

me: sin sang, lei hai been toh yan? lei yao hu ziu moh?
(sir, where're u from? do u have a passport?)

QOM: yao. *takes out another smaller pouch* ngor hai fatt shan yan.
(yes, i'm from fat shan)

it is then that i realise that in fact the QOM has not only 1 but 3 passports! 2 new zealand and 1 australian. so he's essentially an australian citizen.

me: sin sang, lei meh mang?
(so what's ur name?)

QOM: ngor hai Tse Kam Yuen
(my name is Tse Kam Yuen or Xie Gan Yuan in chinese)

me: lei hai ou zhao yan, ley toh dei yew hoi been toh zare! lei hai ng hai 'new zealand yan' (i've no idea how to say New Zealand in cantonese)
(u're an australian, so where exactly are u going? is ur home in new zealand?)

QOM: ngor moh tei fong hoei lor...batt yuen lei bey ngor zor fei kei fan fatt shan?
(i've no where to go, why not u sent me back to Fuo shan)

me: sin shan, li toh hai OU ZHAO!
(this is motherfucking AUSTRALIA!)

QOM: huh, li toh hai ou zhao ah?
(huh, so i'm in australia?)

me: .....

at this point of time the police (2 ang mohs) came over and the QOM was shivering so they decided to go back into the airport terminal. i offered to be a translator for the cops but they declined, so all i could manage was to see the poor QOM leave with the police while i hopped onto my cab. i'm really very very worried for him initially having heard about australia's infamous reputation for throwing illegal immigrants or simply people without proper immigration documentations into qualid detention camps, but having known that he has an australian passport, i can at least be assured that he wouldn't be incacerated or anything. it's weird that neither the NZ or Aussie passports carries a printed address in it. judging from the amount of money and the numerous contacts he has, he's probably not the average poor country bumpkin around. my postulation is that he's probably emigrated with his family to NZ or Australia, only to have them abandon him while he seeks refuge with overseas relatives in HK or Singapore, only to have them patronise him by getting him an air ticket sending him off without even him knowing where he's going to. it's really heart wrenching to see a helpless old man without a clue as to where he is or even where could he go to. i really should have done more. but oh well, at least he's in good hands, or at least that's what i would like to think.